red cherries

monday blues. so true. i duno why. but i'm breaking down more often in sch. hmmpf. i duno why. but during art lesson, when i show mr chang my sketches, and i said, they dun look like what it s'pose to be. and bANG. the tears came gushing out my eyes. i was quite surprised! i din expect myself to break down so soon. and the worst thing, i couldnt stop. i was like.. *sniff sniff..* and i start tearing again. lame. and in front of my class. sighy, but i was saved by the bell. i guess i've been bottling up my feelings again. dunch worry, i'll be alrite.. i hope.. had hist. common test. i think my part 1a is gonna kill me totalleh. i forgot to study that part! freaks. how shitty can i get? VERY? lame.

today had speech day rehearsal. i'll rate it a 4/10. i'm sorry oragnizers of speech day. but the rehearsal were so untidy? the choir assemble at 3:30pm. and guess what time we sang? 5:45pm. how great. plus when we're up there, we jus sang 2 songs and said some to0pid cheers with the SC. and we were dismissed. i wish we could have sang a few more times and get our tuning rite. we still sounded so raw. sighy. i conducted the choir. ben played the piano. it was dammit scary. i made a few boo-boos. the choir went out of tune. i shivered and was soo tense and nervous. but thank gawd i kept looking at the few reasuring faces - prila, huili, noreen, madeline, val, marg and sebas. hehes. it was soo awkward having my back towards the audience. anyhows, i did it. thankiew pepo for giving me ur support esp ben. if it wasnt that short ''trash course'' on conducting i'll prolly be duno doing what on stage. wahahah.. i will need to work on my conducting. it still sux~ remember choir peeps. bring ur stuffie u used for SYF on thursday! pls put in ur best! we still have to proof to the sch that we are a SiLVER choir. take care of ur voices too! lurve ya.

i've got no freaking idea what's with me. i juz pray that God will show me his way. and that His arms will comfort me.. i miss that feeling suddenly. i think i've been holding on to the 'cheap things' in God's eyes. only if i'm willing to give it up, God will then show me and give me the real thing. but it's not easy letting go. i'll try my best to. *weak smile* i hope He'll guide me.. somehow, deep in me, i know He will..


Monday, August 04, 2003 monday blues. so true. i duno why. but i'm breaking down more often in sch. hmmpf. i duno why. but during art lesson, when i show mr chang my sketches, and i said, they dun look like what it s'pose to be. and bANG. the tears came gushing out my eyes. i was quite surprised! i din expect myself to break down so soon. and the worst thing, i couldnt stop. i was like.. sniff sniff.. and i start tearing again. lame. and in front of my class. sighy, but i was saved by the bell. i guess i've been bottling up my feelings again. dunch worry, i'll be alrite.. i hope.. had hist. common test. i think my part 1a is gonna kill me totalleh. i forgot to study that part! freaks. how shitty can i get? VERY? lame. today had speech day rehearsal. i'll rate it a 4/10. i'm sorry oragnizers of speech day. but the rehearsal were so untidy? the choir assemble at 3:30pm. and guess what time we sang? 5:45pm. how great. plus when we're up there, we jus sang 2 songs and said some to0pid cheers with the SC. and we were dismissed. i wish we could have sang a few more times and get our tuning rite. we still sounded so raw. sighy. i conducted the choir. ben played the piano. it was dammit scary. i made a few boo-boos. the choir went out of tune. i shivered and was soo tense and nervous. but thank gawd i kept looking at the few reasuring faces - prila, huili, noreen, madeline, val, marg and sebas. hehes. it was soo awkward having my back towards the audience. anyhows, i did it. thankiew pepo for giving me ur support esp ben. if it wasnt that short ''trash course'' on conducting i'll prolly be duno doing what on stage. wahahah.. i will need to work on my conducting. it still sux~ remember choir peeps. bring ur stuffie u used for SYF on thursday! pls put in ur best! we still have to proof to the sch that we are a SiLVER choir. take care of ur voices too! lurve ya. i've got no freaking idea what's with me. i juz pray that God will show me his way. and that His arms will comfort me.. i miss that feeling suddenly. i think i've been holding on to the 'cheap things' in God's eyes. only if i'm willing to give it up, God will then show me and give me the real thing. but it's not easy letting go. i'll try my best to. weak smile i hope He'll guide me.. somehow, deep in me, i know He will.. cherlene 9:22 pm